so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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