Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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