So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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