exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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