That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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