I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
