Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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