this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
