Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
