Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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