no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
honey bunches of taint.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
