i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
