Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
