ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
