i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
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