it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I smell like Dick and happiness
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize