When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
