DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Randomize
