And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize