its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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