Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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