the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
