When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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