i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize