It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show youâ€
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
