Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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