I wish I could punch you in the face.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
