Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Even my vagina gasped.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
