you guys were way drunker than both of me
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
