Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
