we have pet lesbian snakes
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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