Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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