she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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