Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize