I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
