I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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