dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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