So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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