he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
