Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize