you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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