If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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