I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
