Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize