i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
