I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
