I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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