PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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