You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
organizing the empties. That sober.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
