Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
