You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
