I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we made out on top of his cat.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
