Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
