I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
