well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
