i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
