she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
