that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
