mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
