so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize