I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize