So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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