I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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