I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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