Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
