you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
