I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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