She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize