I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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