i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
it's great music for shaving your balls
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
