So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
