She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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