ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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