hotel room ftw
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
