If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
