Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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